i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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