Don't you send me to vm
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
