so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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