I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Randomize
