i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
