He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
They took my balls.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
