He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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