I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
