i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
