You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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