Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
