just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
