Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
