I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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