please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
