i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
