If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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