I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
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You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
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I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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