My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
