I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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