I'm lost and stupid without you.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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