Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
