i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
