Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
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