If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
