Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
