i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I still have a little drunk in my system
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
