with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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