THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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