so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
