I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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