Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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