i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
