She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
