Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize