I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
