somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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