how can u be prego again
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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