that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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