yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
