Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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