I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
