dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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