3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Semen is not good for contacts.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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