gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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