i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
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I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
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The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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