Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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