So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm always down for nudity.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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