We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
