just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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