I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
