is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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