Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
