I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
