I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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