But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
