i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize