he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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