there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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